InsaneJournal

Current mood:

amused

private journal entry seven
Nadal is nearly here - I have all the presents for my Kase, and have picked up a few things for Stephane.

I am still struggling with what to get for my sister. She has outgrown the childish things I might have purchased for her in years past, and I do not know enough of what she likes anymore to pick a gift according to her current tastes. So I have been wandering through the shops, hoping to find something that catches my eye as the perfect gift.

My father phoned this afternoon, but not for holiday wishes. He blames me for my sister leaving home, and for mother being beside herself with worry. Very loudly. With many threats and much screaming. Not long ago, I would have listened to this at length, apologizing when I could get a word in, sick with fear and loathing for myself for feeling that fear. Now, it was just an annoyance I did not need - and easy enough dealt with. I pretended that the connection was poor and I could not understand him, said that I would send a letter to mother and wished him a happy holiday before hanging right up. I turned on my phonograph, some Wagner - very loud - closed my eyes and lay down on my couch and ignored the times he tried to ring back for hours.

Kase influences me, I swear - but I do not mind this. The ways in which I change lift the heaviness from my heart. Though I must remember- Englishwomen do not have a sense of humor. At least, journalists. I tried one of those little disarming stories to warm the mood - ah, not so well. Maybe I have not yet learned to do this properly. Oh well, the story amused me - and it was a terrible painting.