InsaneJournal

OOC: 100 Character Questions ( as answered by Hans)
All finished! - they're from here if anyone else wants to play along and answer questions for their characters: http://skitten.best.vwh.net/100questions.html


1. What about you is heroic?
Heroic? I am not particularly heroic at all in most things. I am afraid frequently to stand up for things that I know are wrong, because of self-preservation. I suppose though, that there are tiny little things - things like escorting a person to a safe place instead of arresting them, maybe this is a small bit of heroism. Or at least, that it makes up for the self-preservation.

2. What about you is social? What do you like about people?
I like some people when I get to know them, and I can make polite conversation with strangers. I like when people become friends, and they make me feel comfortable in their presence. I like the things I learn from talking to other people, about their different cultures and beliefs and such.

3. Of what benefit could you be to the current group?
Well, I suppose one could always use a Nazi. For what, I do not know... paperwork? Shooting someone?

4. Why would you choose to join the current group?
Well, I do not know what 'group' we are speaking of here. Right now, my 'group' of choice would be myself, Marie-Pierre, my sister, and perhaps Stephane. I grow fond of the young person - he is very clever for his age.

5. Invent an adventure/plot that your character would actively undertake (as opposed to just tagging along)?
Hansierre the musical! Okay, maybe not. I would like to see Hans involved in some sort of fightin' , maybe having to make a moral decision about whether to use lethal force against someone who may-or-may-not kill him (He's had issues about killing people since that thing in Poland). Alternately, if he got hurt in a fight with some anti-German element, and had to decide whether this is a reason that the Nazi are right down with those Resistance terrorists , or whether he kinda deserved it by nature of being German, or whether this is just the way of war.

Personal Questions
1. What is your real, birth name? What name do you use? Hans Ernst Varner. Hans, to friends and family. Hansin to Marie-Pierre, Hansel to family. Sturmbannfuhrer Varner or Herr Varner to strangers and acquaintances.

2. Do you have a nickname? What is it, and where did you get it? Hansin - from my Marie-Pierre, Hansel - from my mother as a child, Choucroute - Marie-Pierre again, of course

3. What do you look like? (Include height, weight, hair, eyes, skin, apparent age, and distinguishing features) 5'10 , 165 lbs hair dark blonde or lt brown, depending on how you look at it, eyes blue, skin - beige, I suppose? - Distinguishing features - I have a mole under my left armpit. This is not distinguishing. Some scars, faint, on my legs and back.

4. How do you dress most of the time? In uniform, of course.

5. How do you "dress up?" In my dress uniform. Though I do own a tuxedo, the occasions to wear it are rare.

6. How do you "dress down?" Casual pants and shirt or sweater. I have a long brown wool coat that I favor in winter. I like dark glasses when I am walking around on a sunny day to keep the sun from my eyes. I do not like to wear hats when I am in civilian clothes, because I get enough of hats at work.

7. What do you wear when you go to sleep? Boxers

8. Do you wear any jewelry? I have a signet ring, but I do not wear it. At work, an SS ring, but never on personal time.

9. In your opinion, what is your best feature? My eyes, I suppose? I do not know.

10. What's your real birth date? 18th March 1914

11. Where do you live? Describe it: Is it messy, neat, avant-garde, sparse, etc.? My house is made of plain brick, somewhat crumbled in the front. There is a foyer, then steps that go up to the living area proper. I have a couch, a coffee table, a book case, a phonograph. That is most of the living room. The kitchen is small but serviceable. I have two bedrooms - but the second is unused save for some storage. I have a bathroom, in which I sometimes bring my development equipment and develop pictures from my camera. The bathtub is somewhat rusty, and the toilet is loud when flushing.

12. Do you own a car? Describe it.
Motorcycle! His name is Frollo

13. What is your most prized mundane possession? Why do you value it so much?
My chess set. It belonged to my maternal grandfather, who died when I was a child. He came to live with us a while, because he was old and sick before he died - but he loved to play chess with my father. My father had no patience for me, and to teach me - but my grandfather used to teach me how the pieces moved. When he died, he left me his personal set, that he had carved by hand as a youth. It is in some disrepair now, but I love it because it reminds me of this great and gentle man.

14. What one word best describes you?
Troubled.

Familial Questions
1. What was your family like? My mother and sister I was close to. My older brothers - I worshiped them when I was small with little brother adoration, but they sometimes didn't have time for me. Then they died. My father was very strict, and ruled the household. What he said absolutely went.

2. Who was your father, and what was he like? Friedrich Varner , a Great War veteran, awarded medals for his valorous service - before our side lost, of course. He lost a leg, and when we also lost the war I suppose that did not help his temperament. He is a humorless man, very strict and stern. He has a strong nationalist view - he believes in the rightness of the Nazi party, and the Aryan rule. He comes from a long aristocratic line, though our family no longer holds a title.

3. Who was your mother, and what was she like? Hilda (nee Braun) Varner - She is a somewhat plain woman until she smiles- then she is beautiful. A very good cook, a very warm and generous heart. A good housekeeper, very thrifty. Only occasionally stood up to my father. Was heartbroken when her sons died, and when I left for war.

4. What was your parents marriage like? Were they married? Did they remain married? They had a stable marriage - my father in charge, but he seems to have some affection and concern for my mother's wishes. An occasional fight- I always regret when they are over me.

5. What were your siblings names? What were they like? Freddi (named after my father) , Bernhardt and Gretchen. Freddi was the eldest, seven years older than myself. He had a take-charge attitude, but was mostly good hearted. Bernhardt, two years younger than Freddi, was a bit pushy and demanding. Myself, five years younger than Bernhardt. Gretchen, eight years younger than me, the surprise child and only girl. She has always been very sweet, and very adored.

6. What's the worst thing one of your siblings ever did to you? What's the worst thing you've done to one of your siblings? The worse they ever did was die. The worse I did was be angry at them for doing so. In childhood though - I suppose it was the time Bernhardt broke a tool of my father's and blamed me so I would get the beating. The worse I did? I don't know, I cannot judge how bad these little petty childhood things hurt them - and I cannot ask them now. Maybe the time I borrowed one of Freddi's favorite books to read then lost it, and claimed I did not know what happened to it.

7. When's the last time you saw any member of your family? Where are they now? Gretchen, a few day ago. And she is here in Paris, God help us.

8. Did you ever meet any other family members? Who were they? What did you think of them? My grandfather Adi Braun on my mother's side lived with us when I was very young before he died- I loved him very much. He taught me to play chess. I have a few aunts, uncles, and cousins that I have seen mostly at holidays - Uncle Otto, Aunt Greta, cousin Karl , cousin Bette - those are my favorites among them.

Childhood Questions
1. What is your first memory? My mother reading to me from a picture book.

2. What was your favorite toy? I had a wooden sword, and I used to like to play at being a knight slaying dragons

3. What was your favorite game? Snakes and Ladders (it is a board game)

4. Any non-family member adults stick out in your mind? Who were they, and how did you know them? Why do they stick out? My boyhood tutor, Herr Kappelhoff, who had a very nasally voice and an irritating personality (he wa a perfectionist, and a bit of a braggart) - but very well educated. I learned much from him in spite of not liking him.

5. Who was your best friend when you were growing up? I did not play often with other children outside my family, so I did not really have one

6. What is your fondest, childhood memory? When my mother went to visit her sick aunt outside of Berlin, and we stayed for three weeks. I was perhaps six? seven? I think this is when I fell in love with the city I would return to at 15. We went to the Zoologischer Garten Berlin - and I saw many animals for the first time, including elephants.

7. What is your worst childhood memory? Having scarlet fever at ten - I was very sick.

Adolescent Questions
1. How old were you when you went on your first date? 15

2. It is common for one's view of authority to develop in their adolescent years. What is your view of authority, and what event most affected it? Running away from home and getting beaten back into submission when I returned home pretty much cemented it for me - that if you must disobey authority, do not get caught or you will be punished severely.

3. What were you like in high school? What "clique" did you best fit in with? I was tutored privately until the age of 15 when I ran away, so I did not have this experience.

4. What were your high school goals? See above.

5. Who was your idol when you were growing up? Who did you first fantasize about in your life? I idolized the men and women who sang in the cabaret. I first fantasized about Dieter - who wore makeup, heels, and fishnets and had the most beautiful singing voice.

6. What is your favorite memory from adolescence? Being allowed to play the piano one night at the cabaret when the regular player took ill and they could not get the replacement in time. I even got applause.

7. What is your worst memory from adolescence? When the Russian died, and I grew afraid and decided to run back home. And what happened when I returned home from Berlin, the fever and the beating.

Occupational Questions
1. Do you have a job? What is it? Do you like it? If no job, where does your money come from?
I'm a Sturmbannfuhrer in the SS. No, I do not particularly like it, but there is not much choice.

2. What is your boss or employer like?
He is an utter Nazi. Well, what did you expect?

3. What are your co-workers like? Do you get along with them? Any in particular? Which ones don't you get along with?
My co-workers are also Nazis. Some of them you can have an occasional decent conversation with, but for the most part I do not socialize with them.

4. What is something you had to learn that you hated?
How to suppress my entire personality in order to be what is expected of me. Sometimes I think I have done too well, in that what is left is often unrecognizable to myself.

5. Do you tend to save or spend your money? Why?
I save most of my money. I send a little home to my parents every now and then, and buy the occasional little luxury - but no excesses.

Likes & Dislikes Questions
1. What hobbies do you have? I like playing chess, listening to music, reading, driving my motorcycle, and learning about all things Occitan.

2. Who is your closest friend? Describe them and how you relate to them. My closest friend would be Marie-Pierre. It is very hard to actually describe Marie-Pierre - perhaps if I knew the Occitan words for free-spirited, and sharp like pointy knives. I relate very well to him - more than I have related to anyone in my life, I think.

3. Who is your worst enemy? Describe them and why you don't get along. I do not think I have any enemy other than myself at times.

4. What bands do you like? Do you even pay attention? I'm not much for modern bands. Usually I prefer classical music.

5. What record hasn't left your phonograph since your purchased it? Why? Ah, I switch them out regularly. I am not that sentimental over music.

6. What song is "your song?" Why? I do not really have a song... see the above sentimentality.

7. What's been your favorite movie of all time? I have not really seen many movies, not enough to be the judge of these things.

8. Read any good books? What were they? Actually, my favorite is an American book published in 1925 - The Great Gatsby. I also enjoy some of the classics - Shakespeare, Voltaire, Dante, Homer...

9. What do you listen to on the radio? I do not currently own one, but when I did, I mostly listened to news broadcasts and the occasional bit of music.

10. When it comes to politics, do you care? I care, but not too loudly.

11/12. What type of places do you hang out in with your friends? Le Passant , the Occitan bistro ....

13. What annoys you more than anything else?
Lies told to deliberately mislead.

14. What would be the perfect gift for you?
Right now? A piano

15. What's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? Marie-Pierre playing the fiddle.

16. What time of day is your favorite? Evening, when work is over.

17. What kind of weather is your favorite? The time just after a storm. I guess that is more post-weather, but I like that time.

18. What is your favorite food? What is your least favorite food? I am fond of sauerbraten. Least favorite of course, is the Dreaded Etouffee, or anything containing snails.

19. What is your favorite drink? (Coffee, Coke, Juice, Beer, Wine, etc.) Before coming to Paris, I would have said beer. But since coming here, I have been enjoying wine more frequently.

20. What's your favorite animal? Why? Elephants, because they can fly.

21. Do you have any pets? Do you want any pets? What kind? I have none. Someday, perhaps, I would like to own a housecat.

22. What do you find most relaxing? (Not as in stress relief, but as something that actually calms you down.) Talking to Marie-Pierre while lying in bed at the Nest is pretty much the most relaxing time I have. When this is not possible, it would be listening to music.

23. What habit that others have annoys you most? Being overly familiar with others before they are invited to be on a familiar basis with them.

24. What kind of things embarrass you? Why? Doing something wrong in public or at a bad time, or having to discuss things that I am ashamed of in my past, having to admit to uncomfortable feelings

25. What don't you like about yourself? A lot of things. I am too formal because I am afraid to let my guard down, I am too afraid to stand up for what I think is the right thing to do, I still revert to being childish when talking to my father, I say the wrong things at the wrong times, I have an ill-formed chin, I have a hard time relating to people, and I snore.

26. How would you like to look?
A better chin, for one. Less hairy body. No armpit mole.

Sex & Intimacy Questions
1. Would you consider yourself straight, gay, bi, or something else? Why? Gay, because I am interested in men not women. Out of step with the rest of the world, but this is who I am.

2. Who was the first person you had sex with? When did it happen? What was it like? How well did it go? I had sex with a man in an alley outside a bar in Berlin, about three weeks after my arrival there. If I knew his name then, I do not recall it now. It was quick, dirty, and painful . The act itself felt shameful, and so did the money he threw at my feet after.

3. Have you ever had a same-sex experience? Who with, what was it like, and how did it go? All my experiences have been same-sex. Some went well, some went poorly.

4. What is your deepest, most well-hidden sexual fantasy? Would you ever try it? This is not very wild by some standards, I am sure- but this is what I think would be beautiful. I would like to be somewhere out in nature - the countryside, in the spring perhaps - with Marie-Pierre, out in the open fresh air in the grass under the stars.

5. What was the wildest thing you've ever done, sexually? Who was it with and when did it happen? Had relations with multiple partners at once, at a party in Berlin when I was about 17.

6. Is there any sexual activity that you enjoy and/or practice regularly that can be considered non-standard? (Bondage, Fantasy Play, etc.) Why do you like it? I suppose most people would consider two men having sex non-standard, so there is that.

7. Is there any sexual activity that you will not, under any circumstances, do? I do not think I physically could have sex with a woman - I am just not built that way. I would also not want to do anything that injures the person I am with or myself.

8. Do you currently have a lover? What is their name, and what is your relationship like? What are they like? Why are you attracted to them? Marie-Pierre Duclos, and he is incredible. Who would not be attracted to him? He's smart, clever, talented in so many things, very handsome and witty, and Occitan. He gives the best tours of the city, cooks breakfast toast with no-snails, and knows the secret plans of elephants.

9. What is the perfect romantic date? A dinner of no-snail and non-Occitan wine by candlelight in the Nest, airshey bars for dessert - followed by a long night where neither of us has to leave.

10. Describe the perfect romantic partner for you. Marie-Pierre

11. Do you ever want to get married and have children? When do you see this happening? No, though I fear someone may try to force me into this at some point. Like my father.

12. What is more important - sex or intimacy? Why? Intimacy. When I was a boy, I had plenty of sex without intimacy - and now, Marie-Pierre and I have both - and though sex is wonderful certainly, the moments like where he smiles at me when he is playing fiddle, or when our hands touch lightly over dinner warm my heart.

13. What was your most recent relationship like? Who was it with? Marie-Pierre is the only person I have had a relationship properly with - one that was not just a casual thing for sex. Though the thing with the Russian was perhaps like a relationship, not with sex but a very close friendship. That might have been the closest I've otherwise come.

14. What's the worst thing you've done to someone you loved? Selfishly troubled him by saying "I love you" at an inappropriate too-soon time.

Drug & Alcohol Questions
1. How old were you when you first got drunk? What was the experience like? Did anything good come out of it? Did anything bad come out of it? 15 - I drank up most of the money I ran away from home with that was supposed to be for things like lodging. Foolish. That was bad. So was the vomiting. The drinking part was fun at the time.

2. Do you drink on any kind of regular basis? Too regular, I am afraid. I really should cut down some.

3. What kind of alcohol do you prefer? I used to prefer beer, but lately I like (non-Occitan) wine.

4. Have you ever tried any other kind of "mood altering" substance? Which one(s)? What did you think of each? Opiates, once or twice. An interesting experience, but disturbing to my senses enough that I would not make it a frequent occurrence ever.

5. What do you think of drugs and alcohol? Are there any people should not do? Why or why not? I suppose they are fine enough entertainments if you do not take them to extremes.

Morality Questions
1. What one act in your past are you most ashamed of? What one act in your past are you most proud of? I am ashamed of how I ran when the Russian died. I am most proud of having had the courage or stupidity to leave home at 15.

2. Have you ever been in an argument before? Over what, with who, and who won? Here and there during my life, of course. The last argument I had was with Marie-Pierre in a bathroom, when I found out he was working for the Nazis. It was not exactly an argument exactly, but a heated discussion.

3. Have you ever been in a physical fight before? Over what, with who, and who won? Again, here and there. The last one being in Poland where we were fighting for our lives. I killed the Pole, so I suppose I won.

4. What do you feel most strongly about? That someday this wartime madness must end, and the world will make some sort of sense to me again.

5. What do you pretend to feel strongly about, just to impress people? The Nazi cause.

6. What trait do you find most admirable, and how often do you find it? Honesty. And not often enough.

7. Is there anything you think should not be incorporated into the media or art (sex, violence, greed, etc.,)? If so, what and why, and if not, why not? If it is in the world, why would it not also be in media and art? Should they not be reflections of the world?

8. Do you have any feelings in general that you are disturbed by? What are they? Why do they disturb you? The depth of emotion I feel towards Marie-Pierre is at once both exiciting and disturbing. I also feel disturbed by sometimes thinking that this whole world is doomed, or that we will not survive the war. Fatalistic.

9. What is your religious view of things? What religion, if any, do you call your own? I believe in God, but I do not think he wants me. I was raised Catholic.

10. Do you think the future is hopeful? Why? There are times when I have glimmers of hope, but overall.. no. The Nazi force is sweeping through Europe, and I do not enjoy the world vision of my countrymen.

11. Is an ounce of prevention really worth a pound of cure? Which is more valuable? Why do you feel this way? Yes, it is better to prevent bad things by preparing for them when you can.

12. What's the worst thing that can be done to another person? Why? Torturing them to death, I suppose?

13. What's the worst thing you could actually do to someone you hated? It depends on why I hated them. If they did something awful to my sister or Marie-Pierre, I could probably kill them.

14. Are you a better leader or follower? Why do you think that? If you think the whole leader-follower archetype is a crock of shit, say so, and explain why? I am both a poor leader and a poor follower - I am best as an individual. I do not have much heart for the cause I 'follow', but I do not see myself able to lead a resistance against it. At best, I can decide for myself to what I need to do.

15. What is your responsibility to the world, if any? Why do you think that? I spend many sleepless nights worrying about this question. I'm not really sure I have ever found the answer. It troubles me, wondering if I should be doing something to stop what is going on - if there is even anything I can do.

16. Do you think redemption is possible? If so, can anyone be redeemed, or are there only certain circumstances that can be? If not, why do you think nothing can redeem itself?
Another tough question. I certainly hope it is possible - and I would think that redemption would involve performing an act or acts that are greater on the positive moral scale than the act that caused the damnation.

17. Is it okay for you to cry? When was the last time you cried?
In a bathroom while very drunk, about a week ago? And definitely not okay - I have to keep it together better than that.

18. What do you think is wrong with MOST people, overall?Greed for power and money and possessions. I think the fundamental problem with most people is that they do not know how to pursue their own happiness without hurting others in the process. Also, an inability to understand what it is that brings true happiness and pursuing things that in the long term only cause more trouble and hurt to others.

Miscellaneous Questions
1. What is the thing that has frightened you most? Do you think there is anything out there that's scarier than that? What do you think that would be? What is happening to my country, and to this world because of my countrymen. And if there is something more frightening than that... I hope to never see it.

2. Has anyone or anything you've ever cared about died? How did you feel about it? What happened? My grandfather Adi when I was young- and I was very sad. He died of old age. My friend Yuri - the Russian - he was shot down like a dog in the street. And I was terrified and lost and sad all at once.

3. What was the worst injury you've ever received? How did it happen? Several broken ribs and other injuries received from my father. The irony that I have fought in war and been less injured than by a family member is not lost on me.

4. How ticklish are you? Where are you ticklish? I am fairly ticklish, though I am not often tickled so it does not usually come up. I am particularly ticklish behind my ears and the back of my knees.

5. What is your current long term goal? Survive this war.

6. What is your current short term goal? Have a beautiful Nadal celebration with Marie-Pierre.

7. Do you have any bad habits? If so, what are they, and do you plan to get rid of them? Drinking too much - and I am trying to watch what I drink more carefully.

8. If you were a mundane person, what would you do with your life? What occupation would you want, and how would you spend all your time? If I were not a Nazi, what would I wish to be? I am not entirely sure. I have no great talents to speak of, and the interests I have do not lend themselves easily to an occupation. For that matter, I do not know what I will do after the war. As a boy, though, a young child- I wanted to be a sea captain.

9. What time period do you wish you had lived in? Why? (Looking at this as an attempt to change history doesn't count.) What appeals to you about this era? Ah, maybe the medevial times with knights and swords and dragons to slay. A heroic time.

10. How private of a person are you? Why? Very private - other than Marie-Pierre , and somewhat my sister - I really do not let people into my private life at all. Why? Because I do not trust most people, and I am uncomfortable with them in my personal space.

11. If you were to gain an obscenely large sum of money (via an inheritance, a lawsuit, a lottery, or anything else) what would you do with it? I would take Marie-Pierre to South America in comfort and style.

12. What would you wish for if you found a genie? This war to end peacefully and with no evil prevailing.

13. What do you do when you are bored? Read, listen to music, think about things in my head.

14. What is the most frightening potential handicap or disfigurement you can conceive of? What makes it so frightening? What a morbid question. I suppose being paralyzed yet still mentally functioning. Because you would effectively be a prisoner of your own flesh.