private journal entry five
My sister is here. Why is my sister here? I am still in shock about this.

It is not that I do not love her- I adore her. My heart is glad to see her, but my head tells me how much trouble this could be. She has grown up - and quite lovely she is, which means there will be trouble with boys no doubt. And if I try to shelter her with my brotherly concern, she will rebel certainly.

There is only one thing to do - I must ask my Kase to keep an eye on her. If there is anyone I know who knows every sneaky trick in the book of sneaky tricks, it would be him. I will ask him to keep a careful watch on my sister.

If anything harm were to come to her, I do not know how I would cope with this.

And I am dreading the phone call or the letter that is certain to come from father, asking if I had something to do with this. He will know, somehow, that she has come to be with me - and blame me for putting the thought in her head with my letters. I half blame myself for this. And every time I talk to my father, I feel like a frightened child again....

And for that matter, how can I explain about my life to Gretchen? About the work that I must do - about the horrible things I did in battle. And... even the good things. How could I explain about my Kase, and about the love affection I hold for him.

Secrets, so many secrets...

It is like a house of cards I am building one by one.