private journal entry 4
So we will have a Nadal celebration together, and I must think of the perfect gifts for my Käse. The good cigarettes he spoke of in half-jest, certainly - but also something personal.

When he asked what I wanted, I blurted the first thing that came to mind oranges - which remind me of my youth. But now, sitting here in my quiet apartment I have reconsidered this. I should have asked for something of his to keep with me to make me feel less lonely on nights such as these. Too sentimental a thought to express.

Though it does bring to mind something I can give to him - I will write for him some little bits of things, and bring them from time to time to the apartment. When he is there and I cannot be, perhaps he will read them and think of me as I am thinking of him now - with longing, and with hope.

(added later)-- also, the idea of their Christmas celebration involving mostly fire does explain a lot about mein kleiner Käse...